Every year around this time the agency wants me to share my story. Every year I say no. Not because I am ashamed or embarrassed. But its not something I want to talk about. Obviously after 6 year it still gets me upset. So why on earth would I want to make myself sad or cry?
Plus, the times I have tried to actually share my story, I've left more angry and upset with the other person. I absolutely HATE when people say "oh I know how you feel" or "oh there are other people out there like you"...The only way those could EVER be true is if you walked in my shoes. Which you haven't. Just because there are other women out there that have done adoption does not mean we experience the same things. Only one part of our story is the same. Just don't try to relate to someone when trying to "comfort" them. Crossing over the line when you do. I mean honestly what would be the point of sharing my story when no one's story is the same. I can't teach anyone anything. You have to learn from your OWN experiences not mine.
One of the most important things I did learn from it all is that you are alone. Some people might say what no, you've got friends & family. That might be true, but in the end. You are alone. No one else can make decisions about your life other than you. Your friends and family can't/won't always be there to support you. You gotta do it for yourself, because the decision you make your friends and family might not agree with or like. So in the end you are alone. Have to do what is best for you, because you're the one that has to live with yourself. Day. and night.
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